I have never experienced so many distractions than I have in the past two months. Every turn, every glance, every thought is filled with layers of emotions. Every conversation, every interaction, every movement bombards me with feelings I cannot control. I did not ask for this, but here it is in front of me begging to be dealt with.

How do I quiet my soul? When can I lay my head down in the tall green grass, gaze towards the sky, and hear the birds chirp? How do I tune out the noises coming from the wind?

Austin, Texas is the first stop to my search of peace. I am officially without firm ties to San Francisco or the Bay Area for the first time in my life, and on this warm summer night I have before me a glass of Italian wine, a charcuterie board, and my laptop. With deep breaths, I solely focus on the beat of the drums pounding against the restaurant’s speakers. Louder and louder. I allow it to echo into my heart and bring me to a new place... I am desperate to be brought to a new place. For the past few months, I have had nightmares that seem to haunt my day, and fears to dream that haunt my night; a case of the blues, a grievous state,... mild depression to be completely honest. But in the midst of complication and diversion, if I am able to liberate myself, I can choose to focus on the elementary principles of life.

This is my intention: to leave each place with a piece of myself, and to gain the world in return.

I must get back to the basics of life and find eternity.

There is something unique about being unknown. To be in a completely different environment where you are challenged to be observant of everything around you. You are no longer the focus or center of your world, but rather the diminished, faded sea . You can hide if you want to, and when you are ready, you can announce yourself to the world once again.

Psalm 100:5

For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting; and His truth endureth to all generations.

My Father’s word quiets my soul and the stillness brings me rest. I remind myself of Psalm 100:5, and I am comforted. Despite the distractions and the noise the Father of many takes notice.

#ClaudiaBrodeur #Blog